I Love You Still
by Meg1911
Summary: Just my thoughts on what could happen in episode 10x20 and beyond...
1. Chapter 1

I Love You Still..."

Chapter 1

Being a trauma surgeon, you never know what is going to come through the doors of Grey-Sloan Memorial...From something as minor as a broken bone, to something as critical as a decapitation, you never know what to expect, but you always have to be ready, no matter what...

"Hey Tony!" What we got?" April asked, while snapping on her gloves...

"Twenty-two year old female, gunshot wound to the abdomen, unresponsive at the scene, approximately 32 weeks pregnant...

"Pregnant."

No matter how many times she dealt with OB trauma cases, hearing that word always made her blood turn cold...

"Vitals appear to be holding, but she has lost a significant amount of blood..."

Pulling herself together, she knew she had to work quickly in order to save both the mother and the baby...

"Ok, I need a ultrasound and x-ray stat to assess both the fetus and the location of the bullet! Murphy, I need you to page OB and tell them we have a possible emergency C-Section coming their way! Shane, I'm going to need you to cross-match 6 units in order to determine her blood type...She has lost quite a lot of blood..."

Praying silently to herself for both the mother and child, she knew she had to do everything in her power to save them...

* * *

After spending 6 hours in surgery April was finally able to scrub out. There had been a few close calls and due to fetal distress the baby had to be delivered, but all in all the surgery was a success...Now, all she wanted to do was go home, take a nice hot shower, and curl up with her husband...

As she was walking down the hallway to the resident's lounge she heard a familiar voice from earlier call out her name...

"Dr. Kepner, I didn't think I would catch you before you left." A young man who appeared to be in his early twenties spoke, clearly out of breath from running.

"Oh, Patrick it is so nice to see you again. I just checked on Monica and she is doing wonderfully!" April said, smiling.

"I just wanted to thank you so much for saving Monica and our little boy. I keep telling Mon we need to leave our neighborhood due to the recurring crimes, but now I am going to be adamant!" Patrick replied with a smile, tears pooling in his eyes.

"Oh, Patrick, I am so glad I was able to be there for them. I wasn't going to give up without a fight and neither were they...How is the little one doing? He sure is a fighter!" April asked, her tone warm.

"He's doing great! That's one of the reasons I wanted to catch you...Monica wants to thank you in person and would love for you to see him. I hate to intrude though, you've had quite the long day and I am sure you are itching to get home..."

"Oh, that's quite alright! I would love to see the both of him. Just let me change and I'll be right up!" April replied with a smile.

"Thank you! I know Monica will be thrilled! She woke up just a bit ago and has been asking to see you." Patrick replied with excitement.

"Tell her I'll be up soon!" April replied, tiredness beginning to creep in.

"Will do!"Patrick replied, as he sprinted down the hallway to his wife and baby boy.

* * *

"Knock, knock!" April said, peeking her head in at the happy family.

"Oh, Dr. Kepner I am so glad you came! Patrick told me you were going to stop by..." Monica replied, excitedly.

"I am so glad he caught me! I couldn't leave without seeing this precious one! April replied, softly.

Looking up at his mother was the most beautiful little boy April had ever seen. With bright blue eyes, a caramel complexion, and a full head of brown hair, he was a perfect mix of both of his parents...

Seeing this, caused something maternal to stir within her. She knew from a young age she wanted to be a mother, but now, being married to Jackson caused her to want nothing more. She knew it would be a while. They were still newly married and had so much left to figure out, but in the future she wanting nothing more than to have a beautiful family with Jackson just like the one in front of her...

* * *

Walking into the apartment, her senses were immediately overcome with the most pleasant aroma.

"Hey babe! Take a seat, I made your favorites..." Jackson replied with a smile.

"Jackson, you didn't have to do this! It's- it's 1AM! I didn't even realize how late it was! You REALLY didn't have to do this!" April replied, adamantly.

"Of course I did! I know you and you probably haven't had a decent meal all day...Plus, a little birdy told me that you just rocked a 6 hour surgery! I wanted to do this for my amazingly beautiful wife, who is also a kick butt trauma surgeon!" Jackson replied, his face beaming with pride.

"Oh, Jackson, first you wash my underwear so I won't go without, and now you are making me all of my favorites, now you are really going to make me cry!" April replied, overcome by emotion with how amazing her husband really was...

Giving him a sweet, but passionate kiss, she took her hand in his and led him towards the bedroom...She wanted to show him just how amazing he was, and she knew just the way to do it...Dinner could definitely wait!"

* * *

***This ff is just an accumulation of ideas and thoughts that have been in my head the past few days and I decided to write a short, 3-4 chapter story. I hope you enjoy it! I do want to forewarn you; although this chapter was super adorable, it doesn't stay that way for long! I know, I know, we all love fluff, but there has to be some angst, right?! ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"April, come back bed! You are blowing this way out of proportion!"

Jackson said from the doorway, trying his best to keep from yelling...

"Oh, am I really? I tell you about my day, tell you about this beautiful baby I helped save, mention I can't wait to have a baby with you someday and you look at me like I've grown two heads! Like this is some foreign concept we've never talked about!" April replied, on the verge of tears.

"April, I never said I didn't want to have a family with you. We both sat in front of my mother and told her we wanted a family, remember?" Jackson replied, frustrated at where this conversation was going.

"Oh, I do remember. I remember us arguing afterwards about boarding school and board meetings. Me wanting my children to join 4-H and becoming comfortable around livestock, what religion I wanted my kids to be brought up in; which you thought was ludicrous by the way..."

Noticing how Jackson had suddenly become quiet and the guilt that now etched his faced, she knew what this was about. It wasn't that he didn't want to have children with her, he just didn't want their children to share her same beliefs...

After a moment of clarity she spoke...

"Jackson, my beliefs are who I am at my core, they define me." April replied with certainty.

"April, I know that and I love you still..." Jackson replied, his voice soft.

"Oh, well thank you! Thank you so much for loving me anyway, despite my beliefs, despite my faith which I happen to hold above everything else!" April yelled, taken aback at his response.

"Your twisting my words!" Jackson replied, his voice rising an octave.

"And your ignoring mine! You don't accept who I am or what I believe, you tolerate it, you judge it...You judge my faith because you don't have any!" April replied, tears beginning to fall.

Angered by her accusation, he couldn't help but bite back.

"I have faith! I have faith in medicine, I have faith in helping people!" Jackson yelled, exasperated.

"That's not faith! Faith is believing in what you can't see! Will you just admit it Jackson, you don't want our children to share my same beliefs because you think what I believe is ridiculous!" April, questioned, her voice shaking in anger.

"It's because it is! Your God is like our hypothetical child April, it's not real!" Jackson yelled, his tone cold.

Utterly crushed by husband's words, she could barely even look at him for fear she would break down...

Jackson couldn't believe he just spoke to her that way. Seeing the look on his wife's face broke his heart. They never yelled at her other this way or tore each other down. He had to fix this...

Treading carefully he spoke.

"Oh God, April, I'm sorry...It doesn't mean I don't respect you, it's just..."

"You know Jackson. You should have let me marry Matthew. You should have just saved your declaration of "loving me" and "loving everything about me" because it really isn't true is it? You are never going to fully accept me for who I am..." April replied, her once bubbly voice void of emotion.

Listening to her speak, he failed to realize the tears that were beginning to fall.

"April, you know that's not true! I love you so much. I..."

"Jackson it's ok, really, you don't have to explain. I'm going to clear my head for a while. Don't wait up..." April replied, trying her best not to cry.

"April, please! Don't go!" Jackson replied, grabbing her hand in his, pleading with her not to go...

"Don't wait up..." April replied, releasing her hand from his grip.

Seeing her shut the door he couldn't hold it in any longer...

He cried.

He had to fix this. He couldn't let the love of his life walk away...

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't hate me too much! :) I'll try and update as soon as I can...**

**Thanks so much for reading! :)**

**Meghan**


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